The Boring Review

Carried objects · No. 069 · 21 July 2026

The loyalty card fob

It has ridden through three wallets and two phone cases and asked, the whole time, to be looked at only at checkout.

Plate 069 · A loyalty card fob

It hangs, in most cases, from a keyring, several positions down from the house key, worn smooth on one face where a thumb finds it by habit rather than by looking. A well-carried one has done this for six years, unfailingly: a rectangle of laminated plastic, 5.4 by 3.2 centimeters by direct measurement, a barcode on one side and a logo, mostly rubbed away now, on the other. It performs one function, which is to be scanned, and performs it without variation, without update, without ever once suggesting that a phone app might do the same job more efficiently, which it would, and which a certain kind of owner declines to install on a principle that cannot be fully articulated. Such owners keep a small collection of these in a drawer, seven or so, from stores no longer patronized or no longer standing, each one a barcode for a discount program since folded into some other program under some other name. They do not get thrown away. This is not sentiment, or not only sentiment; it is that each one still, technically, works, and a thing that would still perform its one job if asked is a hard thing to discard. The fob does not know it has been superseded by an app, a phone number typed at the register, a face scanned at self-checkout. It continues to scan correctly regardless, a fact confirmed four times this year alone, out of something close to due diligence.

Marion Vale

Findings

Ergonomic wear pattern
Redundancy relative to phone apps
Continued functionality
Willingness to be discarded
Overall3.6

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